Tomopop's Worst of 2009: OH GOD WHY (NSFW)

6:00 PM on 01.19.2010   |   Colette Bennett

Well, you've enjoyed our thoughts on the most outstanding toys of 2009: the best Japanese PVC and the best in Designer Vinyl. Those were fun to write and gave us all a good reason to reflect back on the collectibles that had most revved our engines and made us fumble to hit the preorder button.

Of course, for every brilliant light there's an equally black darkness, and for every Black Rock Shooter or Cranston Fellows Jr, there are hundreds of really, really terrible toys that not only make you run away from the preorder button as fast as you can, but also give you the unexplainable desire to set your hair on fire and claw your own flesh off. You laugh, but it's true -- toys really can be that bad.

Follow me past the jump for some of our least favorites.

Hatsune Miku Live Stage Edition Figma (Hajime Tenooto ver).
Made by Good Smile Company
Price: 2500 yen
Wonder Festival 2009 Exclusive

On its own, this figure is great. Miku looks as joyful as ever on her little stage, and vocaloid fans all over the world surely delighted the moment they saw this. However, that extra head, based on the NicoNico Hajime Tenooto PV, is just ... an abomination. Yes, I know it's an internet joke, and I know people think it's funny. All I know is, seeing my beautiful Miku with a head like a stretched eggplant just kind of sucks. Sorry Good Smile, I just couldn't get behind this one.

Bunny Sees Boobs
Made by MINDstyle
Price:$150
Limited to 200 pieces

Colin Christian, creator of Bunny Sees Boobs, is actually a ridiculously talented painter and sculptor. And you know, most women are more than aware that when men look at us, this is what they're really thinking. That's fine. It is what it is. That being said, I think I could have done without a figure to remind me of it. This one making the list has nothing to do with quality, but maybe I'm uptight, what can I say -- I just don't like it.

Chobits's Chii
Made by some guy who sucks
Price: Let's hope it was under $10

I know, it's a bootleg, and bootlegs are supposed to be bad. That being said, when you see a bootleg that's so bad you can't even identify what figure it was a bootleg of to begin with, well, that's really something to write home about (in this case, to warn your family and friends to steer clear of it). This list would be incomplete without mention of some of the worst bootlegs we saw this year, and this poor Chii certainly tops that list.

Butterfly's Dream Choco (dog version)
Made by Gigapulse
Price: 8,700 yen

I was sure that when Brad posted about Giga Pulse's Butterfly Dream's Choco figure that it was surely going to make it into this list, and that it would take the award for one of the worst figures of the year. If only I could have begun to anticipate that they'd take it one step further by adding a dog with a penis so it could rape her, but you know, who sees that kind of thing coming? I actually forbade the staff to write this figure up because of how wrong it was, but you can go see a full review over at Akiba Hobby. Make sure your tongue is firmly in your cheek (and you're not at work) before you click.

After that last figure, well, I admit I couldn't think of any worse ones, so I kind of petered out. I'm sure you can see why, though. What figures did you think were the worst releases of 2009?