Tentacles, anyone? Yes? No? Well, too bad, because you're getting a story that has to deal with them anyways. Posted by our own Kristina Pino on sister site Japanator, there's a fisherman in Akita prefecture, Japan who uses red-colored figures as lures to catch himself octopi.

Apparently, the octopi think the red on the figures looks like a tasty crab meal ... but we all know they really want Mikuru to their tentacly selves. And perhaps in your darkest corners ... you like that as well.

In fact, some are even attempting to be human, like this specimen named Shamus bred deep in the labs of the mad scientist Michelle Jewett. You may see more of ther creations here, but be warned! No one who has gone there has come back with the same Internet history.

[via Super Punch]

Octopi are not the only misbehaving creatures on the Midnight Channel. Human weakness rears its head in the form of a toy company that laundered drug money. Tsk tsk. The Los Angeles Times reports on the story of City of Industry, Calif.'s Woody Toys Inc., whose owners were charged with being a front for drug money from Mexico.

Strangely enough, several employees at Woody Toys used to work at Angel Toy Corp., a similar Los Angeles toy exporter that was also busted for drug money laundering in 2010.

But weakness does not amount to greed alone. Gluttony, anyone? Bloom Cakes of Toronto have taken Tristan Eaton’s Tag Team Dunny & FatCap duo and made a tasty caramel apple birthday cake with salted caramel buttercream for a client. I can already see your mouth watering, don't deny it.

[via Kidrobot Blog]

But perhaps you seek something that will give you boastful pride? Then perhaps this golden Jack Sparrow statue will be your downfall what satisifies you. For ¥36,000,000 (about US$466,000), you can own one of three 24K solid gold statues from the Kurotani Corporation in Japan. Nothing says pride more than a giant golden statue of Johnny Depp, does it?

[via WDW Daily News]

Still, we have not found your true self? Then I know what you look for: lechery. Or perhaps more specifically ... Lechery, a new(ish) figure company. Yes, they have cut straight to the point to tell you, "WE MAKE FIGURES WITH CASTOFF PARTS." While I appreciate the candor, I cannot imagine how awkward it will be telling your mother about the new figure you bought. Their first figure from them has gone up for pre-order, which you can read out more about in Reserve or Regret.

Other links of note:

- JC Rivera made a figure based on Instagram's logo and got the go ahead legally to take it further. Looks neat ... but will it come in sephia colorways? [Tenacious Toys Blog]

- A guy by the name of Mahj has managed to make a motorized Lego Tachikoma. I actually have nothing snarky to say about this. It's pretty cool. [Alafista]

- A customizer named Greggo has made a pretty-realistic John McClane action figure. It's 1/6-scale built from a Hot Toys body and a custom head sculpt by the one and only Erick Sosa. Yippe ki-yay, mother******! [toycutter]

- Or, if that didn't satisfy your custom action figure craving, here's argenta-2008's Earth X Black Knight custom. [toycutter]

- They're making a Presidential Barbie. No, really. I'm sure somewhere, some right-wing or left-wing pundit is livid about this for some reason. [Neatorama]

- Amanda Visell made a wooden Boba Fett and Darth Vader. I like Boba Fett and Darth Vader. That's why I'm including it. [SpankyStokes]

- Jason Limon's got a new Dunny on the way, but we think you might like his Unollo resin figure. Look, it even has tentacles. IT'S THEMATIC! [SpankyStokes]

- McFarlane Toys is releasing a series of resin figures as part of their Collector's Club. The first one is ... oh, Derek Jeter. Fun. [Plastic and Plush]