Sideshow has a statue of the snow troll from Lord of the Rings, because you wanted that

10:00 AM on 08.06.2011   |   Chris Pranger

Today feels like a good day to make myself feel bad. I get pretty into talking about Sideshow Collectibles, as we get tons of tips from them every week that vary in topics that I usually like to talk about. So today when I found something that looked like it was from Lord of the Rings I was pretty pleased. Except then I had to squint to figure out what I was actually looking at. It turned out to be a Snow Troll statue from the upcoming PC game War in the North, what I assume is an expansion to Battle For Middle-Earth. And I yet again see a number of things that puzzle my feeble peasant brain.

I just have a habit of asking for trouble, don't I? Part of my problem is that I just wish I had enough money to purchase half of the items I see on Sideshow Collectibles. This Snow Troll statue is not one of them. I thought Gimli was amazing, and Boromir is someone I want standing on my desk right now, but I'm just not feeling the Snow Troll. It's a big ol' Bessy at 18" and 15 lbs, and it even displays what appears to be Gimli about to have a very bad day as he's been snatched up in the troll's grasp, but the overall quality just looks incredibly pedantic. The colors are bland, the base is dull, and the texture is awful. From a simple glance it looks like the sort of quality you'd usually see on a cheap $10 Star Wars Rancor figure from the 90's.

And if this statue were $10, we wouldn't have a problem. Hell, for $10, this statue's worth every cent. But it's not $10. It's US$324.99. Damn. It. All. For the quality I'm seeing, that's just plain unacceptable. Maybe it's just because I don't have any attachment to the exact source material. I loved Lord of the Rings, but I've never encountered a snow troll of any kind. If this is like your dream statue or something, just know that it's reserving pre-orders right now for a 1st quarter 2012 release window. And if you have the money for these sort of expenditures, may I ask, what do you do for a living and are there any openings where you work?

[Pre-order at Sideshow Collectibles]