Jiburiru the Devil Angel figure makers, we need to talk about this NSFW stuff you're doing

1:00 PM on 03.03.2009   |   DickMcVengeance

Alright. What the hell. Jiburiru the Devil Angel is a hentai OVA, and I've watched several of the episodes -- all for the purposes of work, no doubt. It's not a very good one. A good portion of the anime is actually some fairly poor plot development, and the sex scenes tend to be medicore at best.

The most memorable thing, in fact, is the voice acting. Truly horrible. So, all of a sudden I see these figures come out of Hobby Complex GK01 -- stuff that Eva was too disturbed to post about. Tentacles coming out of the vagina? Floating penises? When the hell did this happen? Did I miss this episode?

Let's take this after the jump so I can discuss these figures in peace. And in case you couldn't guess, it's going to be NSFW after the jump. Very NSFW.

Case #1: Tentacles protruding from the vagina

I can state with some level of certainty that women do not have tentacles hidden in their vagina. So, I can only assume that she is in fact giving birth to some sort of octopus or tentacle monster, also hinted to by the bulge in her stomach.

Why is this figure unnecessary? No matter how hard you try, figure makers, giving birth will never be sexy or erotic. It is an extremely painful process if you're not hopped up on drugs, and so just because the Japanese seiyuu have the same scream for "pain" and "pleasure" doesn't mean that birthing actually turns the girl on. And she certainly wouldn't have that happy-go-lucky expression on her face.

Why was it made? Because God is punishing us.

Case #2: Assault on Phantom Penis Island

Alright, I can accept the whole floating penis business -- it's a regular staple in manga when the artist is too lazy to draw the rest of the body, especially in a bukkake scene like this. So, the girls take three members at a time while everyone sprays their sauce all over the ladies. They giggle, enjoy it, and OH JESUS CHRIST, SHE'S NIBBLING ON THAT FORESKIN. NO. JUST NO. YOU ARE IN THE WRONG.

Why is this figure unnecessary? Well, besides the foreskin munching, there are just too many penii in this scene. Look down in the bottom right -- she's got a penis wedged between her breast and her arm! I know some people like that, but if you're going that far, I feel like you've reached the point where you're trying to please too many people at once. *rimshot*

Why was it made? Because too many men seem to have this fantasy of just being a nameless cock to a woman. It seems a little selfish, doesn't it? The guy just wants to get pleasured, release himself, and then be done.

Bonus: Hair wrapped around the genitalia is not all that attractive. I assure you of this, Japan.

Case #3: Wrestling with the giant penis plant

I really have a hard time coming up with something catchy for this because, well, the figure just kinda speaks for itself. It's got just about everything you could possibly want: a beaded tube going into the girl's anus, several tentacles to assault her face, and a giant penis to ride like a pony! To be honest, I'm surprised that giant plant penis isn't going inside her.

Why is this figure unnecessary? Because of just how wrong it is. I'm not against a little dendrophilia, but it's more so that Jiburiru's breasts have magically grown a large amount in this version, she seems to be pregnant and only midly aware of what's going on, and I'm going to take a guess and say she's being lactated.Also, the figure is ungodly ugly.

Why was it made? Because whoever made the first two figures decided that they needed to top themselves, and this is what they came up with.

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