Jessica Rabbit isn't really bad, she's just sculpted that way

12:00 PM on 08.17.2011 // Chris Pranger

Those of you who for some reason didn't come into adulthood as a result of Who Framed Roger Rabbit's Jessica Rabbit, you probably won't understand the least bit of why I'm so very pleased as punch today. Okay, maybe you will seeing as how Sideshow Collectibles' Jessica Rabbit Premium Format Figure shows off her defining features so well. And by that I mean tig ol' bitties!

Usually, I get downright outraged and a bit uncomfortable when I see statues of popular characters all sexed up with lovely lady lumps hanging out all over the place (usually around the chest since it'd look weird elsewhere). Jessica Rabbit gets a pass since, well, this is exactly how the movie portrayed her. I'm particularly in awe of what appears to be a real-fabric dress, a feature that just makes the whole statue pop. Crap, and you know the first thing anyone who buys this will do is see if the fabric dress can come off, even via force. I promise you desperate and like-minded nerds! There will be no nerps underneath! You will just ruin the statue! Restrain yourselves and just watch the original uncut VHS instead!

Well, stop playing patty-cake with yourself long enough to listen to some of the erection-fading details, such as pricing. Mrs. Rabbit doesn't come cheap. The price for both the standard version and the Sideshow Exclusive version (which includes an extremely racy fine art print, even considering the character), is US$324.99. But hey, a classy dame like this deserves your money, right? If you want to pre-order this immediately, make sure you're signed up for Sideshow's Newsletter since Jessica Rabbit goes live for pre-order on Thursday, August 18th between 2 and 3 pm Pacific Time. That's tomorrow, in case you were a bit distracted to do math. Speaking of math, anyone else have the sudden need for a binder?

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