Kyon - Ok Santa, you need to understand somethings about the way Haruhi looks at Christmas and especially the way she looks at parties... She's going to be kind of demanding and...oh crap here she comes. Just play along ok? Trust me...
Haruhi - HEY FAT MAN! Remember this piece of crap bike you left me last year? I told you it was supposed to turn into a robot. RO-BOT? What's so hard about that?
Kyon – Oh crap, here we go...
Haruhi – Look here Santa, you're going to turn this friggen bike into a transforming robot. We're having a Christmas party tonight and you can't party without a bad-ass transforming robot motorcycle woman...
Kyon – Hey...this is a nice bike...
Santa – Well, by Christmas young lady... I suppose I've got a little bit of extra Christmas magic I can use here...
Haruhi – Oh HELL YES! That's what I'm talking about Santa! Nice work!
Kyon – Whoa...she's a cutie...for a robot I mean...
Haruhi – Hrm...You're right, she IS a cutie. We need to hook her up with a handsome robot pal.
Haruhi - SANTA! This lady here needs a metal stud. Something sleek, fast...with a sexy voice.
Santa – Well, we have to be careful Haruhi...a description like that might...
Starscream – Reporting for duty...Santa? What's going on here?
Haruhi – Screamer! Perfect! Santa and I are hooking you up with some robot tail! Mistletoe is that away! Try and keep any dark fluids off the rug.
Starscream – So I hear you don't mind when people ride you...
Arcee – Just make sure to hold on to my handlebars...
Santa – Haruhi I think maybe that's enough...
Haruhi – Hey! What else have you got in here?
Kyon – I want no part of this...
Santa – Hey! Careful what you pull out of that bag...
Haruhi – Just what every party needs! Drunk chicks! No Christmas party is complete without drunk chicks!
Kyon – Haruhi! You don't bring a bunch of drunk girls to a party with Santa!
Haruhi -Kyon...you need to chill out. Ladies?
Haruhi – That's right! Drink up Kyon! You need to chill the F' out! Drink up the Christmas cheer!
Santa – Servebot! What are you doing with a bottle of whiskey? What's going on in that bag?
Haruhi – This party is turning out pretty good! We need some music now...what do these kids like? A little Justin? How about Ke$ha? Oh...I know...
Kyon – Thish Shervebot is myy best pal... Yes I would like another drink.
::Luka and Miku arrive out of the bag and begin to fill the small room with the tremendous sound of J-Pop::
Haruhi – C'mon Santa, let's move this party outside...
Santa – oh my...this IS the best Christmas party I've been to in some time...
Haruhi – I know right? Those girls are getting the cat drunk...Starscream is riding Arcee... Luka and Miku are rocking out and...Kyon is getting upskirt pictures of Luka...oh gawddamit!